Have you ever thought about angels looking down on you from Heaven?
Honestly, I haven't until recently...
Here is our Angel Story
On November 22, 2011 I found out I was pregnant! Daniel and I were on our way out the door to go to a Thanksgiving get together with our friends. We were both super excited! We told each of our parents over Thanksgiving and decided to wait to let the rest of our family know as a surprise at Christmas. Mainly, so we could see the doctor and our little butter bean first!
At 8 weeks pregnant and the week of Christmas, I went to get my first ultrasound and see the heartbeat. Oh what a sight!! My doctor said everything looked great and sent me on my way excited and thinking of fun ways to share the news with the rest of the family. Daniel and I decided to tell the news with Dylan. After much searching, we found two cute shirts that told that Dylan was going to be a big brother. He wore his shirts proudly and everyone in the family was super excited that there was going to be a new addition!
Shortly after Christmas I began spotting. I wasn't too worried about it. I did the same with Dylan and actually went to the emergency room at 10 weeks only to find a strong heartbeat and a doctor saying "your fine!" I didn't want to overreact this time so I waited. After about two weeks of spotting, nothing heavy, I decided to call the doctor just for some reassurance. Of course they said it's normal during the first trimester but since I was just shy of being in the second trimester they wanted to check on things.
So, at 11 1/2 weeks pregnant I went back to the doctor for my second ultrasound. The night before, Daniel had asked, "are you nervous?" I immediately responded, "no, I'm sure everything is fine". Then he asked, "Do you want me to go?" and of course I responded, "yes, if you can!" And of course he came! I believe, now, that God planned for him to be there for me. He knew we would need each other because everything was not fine.
We arrived at our doctors office at 8:45 am January 12, 2012. We were taken back to the ultrasound room by the ultrasound tech. She began the ultrasound, moving back and forth. Daniel, expecting everything to be fine, joked by asking the tech to go ahead and tell us if it's a boy or a girl! Of course we all laughed, but the tech still didn't say anything about the baby. I began to feel anxious. And then, she said, "I'm gonna go get the doctor. I'll just be a minute." At that moment, I knew. Daniel and I didn't said a word to each other. We waited, holding hands.
Our doctor came in and had the ultrasound tech scan again. And then, she said, "I'm so sorry Kristi. We can't see a heartbeat." She assured us that it was nothing we did or didn't do. She also shared that she did not expect this...because of the last ultrasound showing a heartbeat and a growing baby. After Daniel and I took some moments together to cry and pray, we went into our doctors office to discuss what happens next. Our doctor explained the options available to us but Daniel and I knew that we would want things to happen on their own if possible and on January 16th I miscarried naturally.
Daniel and I have been able to grieve for this loss. Our friends and family have been super supportive and helpful. I am amazed at how many people have gone through this and I pray that they continue to share their stories because I know it helped me!
I leave you with the poem Daniel wrote for our Angel baby looking down on us in Heaven...
Sweet Child Not To Be
I was waiting to meet you
To see your first smile
To hold you, to name you
Watch you sleep for a while
To see your first steps
To hear your first sounds
To rock you to sleep
Then gently lay you down
Your Mother and Brother
They waited with me
So eager to meet you
To grow our family
I was waiting to meet you
Now you're waiting for me
And this world that you missed
Seems less important to see
So as you wait there in Heaven
My sweet child yet to be
I hope you smile down
On your Mother and me
And know that we love you
As we wait patiently
To meet our sweet child
Who for some reason
Wasn't meant to be.
-DCP
Thank you for all the love, support and prayers!
Kristi, Daniel and Dylan
At 8 weeks pregnant and the week of Christmas, I went to get my first ultrasound and see the heartbeat. Oh what a sight!! My doctor said everything looked great and sent me on my way excited and thinking of fun ways to share the news with the rest of the family. Daniel and I decided to tell the news with Dylan. After much searching, we found two cute shirts that told that Dylan was going to be a big brother. He wore his shirts proudly and everyone in the family was super excited that there was going to be a new addition!
Shortly after Christmas I began spotting. I wasn't too worried about it. I did the same with Dylan and actually went to the emergency room at 10 weeks only to find a strong heartbeat and a doctor saying "your fine!" I didn't want to overreact this time so I waited. After about two weeks of spotting, nothing heavy, I decided to call the doctor just for some reassurance. Of course they said it's normal during the first trimester but since I was just shy of being in the second trimester they wanted to check on things.
So, at 11 1/2 weeks pregnant I went back to the doctor for my second ultrasound. The night before, Daniel had asked, "are you nervous?" I immediately responded, "no, I'm sure everything is fine". Then he asked, "Do you want me to go?" and of course I responded, "yes, if you can!" And of course he came! I believe, now, that God planned for him to be there for me. He knew we would need each other because everything was not fine.
We arrived at our doctors office at 8:45 am January 12, 2012. We were taken back to the ultrasound room by the ultrasound tech. She began the ultrasound, moving back and forth. Daniel, expecting everything to be fine, joked by asking the tech to go ahead and tell us if it's a boy or a girl! Of course we all laughed, but the tech still didn't say anything about the baby. I began to feel anxious. And then, she said, "I'm gonna go get the doctor. I'll just be a minute." At that moment, I knew. Daniel and I didn't said a word to each other. We waited, holding hands.
Our doctor came in and had the ultrasound tech scan again. And then, she said, "I'm so sorry Kristi. We can't see a heartbeat." She assured us that it was nothing we did or didn't do. She also shared that she did not expect this...because of the last ultrasound showing a heartbeat and a growing baby. After Daniel and I took some moments together to cry and pray, we went into our doctors office to discuss what happens next. Our doctor explained the options available to us but Daniel and I knew that we would want things to happen on their own if possible and on January 16th I miscarried naturally.
Daniel and I have been able to grieve for this loss. Our friends and family have been super supportive and helpful. I am amazed at how many people have gone through this and I pray that they continue to share their stories because I know it helped me!
I leave you with the poem Daniel wrote for our Angel baby looking down on us in Heaven...
Sweet Child Not To Be
I was waiting to meet you
To see your first smile
To hold you, to name you
Watch you sleep for a while
To see your first steps
To hear your first sounds
To rock you to sleep
Then gently lay you down
Your Mother and Brother
They waited with me
So eager to meet you
To grow our family
I was waiting to meet you
Now you're waiting for me
And this world that you missed
Seems less important to see
So as you wait there in Heaven
My sweet child yet to be
I hope you smile down
On your Mother and me
And know that we love you
As we wait patiently
To meet our sweet child
Who for some reason
Wasn't meant to be.
-DCP
Thank you for all the love, support and prayers!
Kristi, Daniel and Dylan
